Our Lost Dog

Today's post is not long or eloquent.  Our beloved dog, Gable, was lost yesterday.  I can't help buy blame myself, although nobody seems to agree with me that I should.  

We have had Gable for over 10 years.  My husband got him outside a grocery store while we were still dating and in college.  He has been with us through 3 children, 8 moves and many other trials.  He has quite literally save my husbands life on one account and protected me and the kids in many others.  He has never needed a leash.  He always stays close and comes where we call.  He was our baby before we had any.  He was obedient to a T and as perfect as any dog can be.  He is our friend and our protector.

He is deathly afraid of thunderstorms.  Yesterday I heard one coming on so I let him out to pee since he won't when it is storming.  About 5 minutes later the lightening hit.  And my daughter comes running in to say that Gable had pooped on the floor.  I was not happy.  I never yell.  But I yelled at him because he knows better.  I pushed him outside to force him to potty and locked him in our room while I cleaned the poop.  When that was done I went to let him out cause... I can't stay mad for long.  He had peed on the foot of our bed.  And not just a little.  I was furious.  I heartlessly shoved him outside to pee in our unenclosed yard.  The rain had died down by now and the sun was back out.  It never rains for long it seems.  My daughter says, "Mommy, what if he runs away?"  I told her he wouldn't cause he always stays on the porch.  I put the sheets in the washer and came to open our bedroom window while I angrily cleaned the pee.  He was gone.

I figured he was in the backyard, but my heart sank so I ran outside and called for him.  He didn't come.  I left the pee in a puddle on the floor and told the kids to get in the car.  We looked for 2 hours.  I called my husband and he came and looked during his lunch break.  We have called or visited all the vets, PAWS and the Police.  The lady at the police station gave the kids stuffed dogs.  My middle son named his Gable, which I hate because he played with it all day and broke my heart every-time.

I am trying hard to be happy and positive.  Hopefully someone will call soon, but...  My families spirits are shattered.  Especially my husband.  Every 5 minutes we all seem to stare out the window for our lost dog.  I keep thinking I will seem Gables happy fluffy tail zoom past the window.

All I can think about is how angry I was and how then he was gone.  How could I do such a horrible thing to animal we all love so much.  Look what I have done to my kids and my husband.  Yes, worse can happen but it just doesn't feel like that right now.  I woke up at 3 am and haven't been able to get back to sleep.  I know once the kids are up I will be better.  A: I have to put on a brave happy face for them.   B: They keep my occupied.  But when nobody is around I just cry.  It's horrible.

Please just pray for us.  That our Gable is safe and that he will come home.  That our hearts are healed and our spirits lifted.  It hasn't been 24 hours but it feels like a lifetime. 

Thank you.